From Setback To Comeback: Use These 6 Steps to Bounce Back Stronger

Although every individual's life journey is unique, one common experience we all share is the presence of peaks and troughs in life. Unfortunately, progress is not linear. Challenges and obstacles are inevitable, and how we deal with them determines our true potential.

"Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep going. Tough situations build strong people in the end."
- Roy T. Bennett

To illustrate the above, let us take a leaf out of Disney's storylines. The main character begins comfortably settled in their current situation. Suddenly, an external force disrupts their world, and unless they adapt, they risk suffering or losing what is most precious to them. Courageously, they face the problem head-on with the help of others and overcome it. In doing so, they grow beyond their past selves and achieve greater things.

One of the key reasons why Disney movies resonate so deeply with us is because the plots are very similar and relatable to how we experience our peaks and troughs in life. Overcoming challenges expands our circle of competency while choosing to stay within our comfort zones restricts our growth and capabilities.

If challenges in life are inevitable, how can we prepare ourselves to overcome them?

And when we hit rock bottom, what can we do to recover?

Through my personal and professional experiences, I've relied on a set of guiding questions that have helped me navigate obstacles. Let's explore how these questions can help you too!

Find The Silver Lining

1. What’s good about this situation?

Every situation has both advantages and disadvantages. It’s not easy to see the positives when emotions run high, so take a moment to pause and collect yourself. Step back and see the bigger picture. Objectively evaluate the situation and identify the positives amidst the negatives. This perspective sets the foundation and motivation for you to resolve the issue on hand.

2. How will I emerge after solving this problem?

As the old adage goes, start with the end in mind. Instead of catastrophising the current situation, envision a triumphant outcome and the sense of accomplishment it will bring. The objective of this forward thinking practice creates a compelling goal, motivating you to press on and overcome the difficulties that you are facing now.

Internal Conditioning

3. What am I telling myself about this difficulty?

Tune in to your thoughts and listen. Due to a cognitive bias called "negative bias", we have a natural tendency to have and hold onto negative thoughts more than positive ones. Left unchecked, these thoughts can be disempowering.

Let me illustrate by using the "two arrows" analogy from the Buddhist teachings. While the first arrow represents the undesirable event that has taken place, individuals like you and I are prone to firing the second arrow onto ourselves by ruminating in negative thoughts and emotions. The second arrow is unnecessary, yet we fire it at ourselves by choice!

So what should we do when we gain awareness about our negative self talk? How can we stop the launch of the second arrow? This brings us swiftly to the next guiding question!

4. Is the thought I am having based on fact or assumption?

A simple yet effective method to break and disempower your negative thoughts is to verify them against facts. More often than not, our fears and doubts are based on assumptions rather than facts. By challenging these thoughts, we disempower them and regain control.

With the above four questions, you have identified intrinsic motivations and primed yourself to tackle your current challenge. It is now time to take action!

Taking Action

5. What small steps can I take now to make everything easier?

Facing a problem head-on can feel overwhelming, but breaking it down into small, manageable steps makes it more achievable. Just like solving a puzzle, you first complete the corners, then group pieces by their colour and distinct designs. Most importantly, maintain the consistency and discipline to see through each phase 1 piece at a time! As you gradually complete each phase, you find yourself building positive momentum towards the next task.

6. What can I do to enjoy the process of solving this problem?

Ever noticed how children's learning materials incorporate fun elements? Whether through toys, storybooks or even educational work books, they are designed for children to enjoy via interaction. And from the process, children solve puzzles, challenges and pick up valuable lessons and skills! Why not replicate such a process to problem solving? Explore ways to gamify your experience, integrate rewards at different milestones, or find accountability partners to stay motivated. Customise the process to your liking, the possibilities and options are endless!

Concluding

"You have within you right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you."
- Brian Tracy

The six questions above have served as a personal guide to tap into my own potential to overcome my challenges. I hope that they can serve as an inspiration for you to come up with your own framework for navigating challenges.

As Brian Tracy summarised, we all have untapped potential within us. Whether they lie dormant or get brought to life in magnificent ways, depends on the choices we make.