The Path To Self-Responsibility
Are you still ruminating about the painful mistakes you made in the past and fearful of the uncertainties in the future?
Maybe, you have learnt from your past experiences, now eager and hopeful to apply your insights to overcome future challenges?
The concept of self-responsibility is simple to understand, yet difficult to execute and uphold. It first begins with self awareness and reflection. By attaining clarity of what you have been through, how you are now and where you want to be, will you be empowered to take full accountability of your life. When you examine the influential and charismatic individuals in the world, you will realise that majority of them have great control over their life (think health, wealth, social etiquette, living habits etc). Hence, these individuals often qualify as role models in their respective fields, earning the respect of many and have the ability to extent their positive influence in the society.
How can one begin their journey in developing their self-responsibility?
Reflecting On Your Past
There is a saying that what has happened is a fact in the past. It presents us with an opportunity to review and learn from the repercussions of decisions and actions taken, so that better ones can be made in the present. Looking at the past also allows one to observe and realise the positive changes and maturation he or she has achieved over time. This cultivates a practice of gratification, creating a sense of fulfilment and deep appreciation of the present moment.
However, the past is also a state where individuals can dwell within consciously and subconsciously. Some people can get ahead of themselves just because they achieved a remarkable feat in the past. While others let past failures and regrets dictate their current capabilities, trapped in a spiral of negativity and self limiting beliefs.
Imagining Your Future
The future presents us with a world of possibilities, where personal desires and dreams awaits. The optimistic and hopeful visualisation of the future can be a strong motivating factor for individuals to persevere and overcome today's challenges. It also inspires people to take consistent action and develop relevant habits that propel them towards their goals and aspirations.
The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance. The wise grows it under his feet.
- James Oppenheim
Unfortunately, the fixation on looking forward can cause us to overlook the importance of appreciating the present. The common misconception that greater happiness and success lies in the future can create a sense of dissatisfaction with our current self. This often translates to over competitiveness at work or amongst peers, and indulgence in materialistic consumerism. The uncertainty of the future can also instil fear and doubt in some of us. By choosing the familiar and staying in the comfort zone, this can lead to stagnation and unfulfilled aspirations.
Identifying & Overcoming Potential Pitfalls
The points discussed briefly above are just the tip of the iceberg. But I believe you get my drift. By examining and reflecting on both the past and future, we can generate insightful cues for self-betterment. Yet, we must be wary of the potential dangers that could or has already manifested in us, especially when it happens unconsciously.
Personally, I tend to dwell on my past mistakes, replaying the scenes over and over again. Although this serves as a good habit to reflect, learn and improve, the negativity that develops during the thought process can accumulate and mentally drain me over time. Two practices that empowered me to minimise or eliminate the pessimism is acceptance and the ability to let go. By gathering the courage to accept the fact that what has happen can't be changed and have the self-compassion to accept current short comings, I find the strength to let go of my past and focus on the present and future. If you are not mindful or aware, you will miss out on the precious opportunities and experiences that lay in front of you.
I am also naturally inclined towards envisioning a brighter future, encouraged by my desire for personal development and optimistic attitude. Ironically, this causes a personal tendency to continuously pursue the next achievement or external validation while neglecting the appreciation of the present. As I accumulate life experiences, I have come to understand that life is just a compilation of todays. In order to better cherish my time, I find that the practice of daily gratitude coupled with a non-striving mindset has been effective and beneficial. Practicing gratitude heightens my awareness and appreciation for my current status and possessions, while the focus on establishing healthy habits and consistently executing on them eliminates outcome driven emotions and expectations.
By having a holistic review of the tendencies I have when dealing with my past experiences and future outlook, I can develop habits to leverage on my strengths while minimising or eliminating the pitfalls. Gradually, I find myself in a positive reinforcement cycle, feeling good and doing good for myself and to the people around me.
Concluding
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your troubles, you wouldn't sit for a month.
- Theodore Roosevelt
In a humorous way, Theodore Roosevelt emphasises the importance of self-responsibility. Albeit the prevalent social norms and expectations, only you have full control over your life. And I believe that good self-responsibility begins with self-awareness and reflection. Remember, the examination of both the past and future is a personal endeavour and the revelations that come with it are highly unique to each individual. I hope this post has inspired you to re-examine self-responsibility in a new light, and may that experience presents you with valuable insights to better navigate life's journey.