The Words That Changed My Life
As long as you have done your best.
- My Mum
As a kid, my parents were the primary role model in my life. Their beliefs, actions, and words often leave a deep impact on me as I grew up under their protection and guidance. Out of the countless life lessons I've learnt, there is one that I believe had significantly altered my perspective in life and still continues to do so - for the better of course!
The Obstacle
In my third year of secondary school, I had a strong and consistent academic performance of failing every Additional Mathematics quiz/test. To the point where my teacher had to pull me aside after class and offered his heartfelt advice for me to drop the subject so I can focus my efforts on other studies for my final year exams. It was a very hurtful moment for me, knowing that even my own teacher no longer had any expectations for me.
With a heavy heart, I delivered my teacher's advice to my mum that evening. Yet in her usual fashion, she listened rather than questioned and she consoled instead of criticising. And during the process, she said meaningfully: "As long as you have done your best".
Unleashing The Potential
My mum's words were an enlightening moment for me. Have I identified my mistakes and made an effort to understand the mathemathical concepts correctly? Or have I allocated sufficient time to work on practice questions to improve on my proficiency? The harsh reality was that I had not even attempted to work on my subject despite the consecutive failures. I had not done my best.
Since that awakening, I reset my priorities and studied relentlessly for the next few months. This pursuit was my first serious attempt at achieving a personal goal in my life. With my personal pride on the line and the desire to make my mum proud, I defied the odds and scored an "A" for my Additional Mathematics exam after failing the subject for an entire year.
The Lessons In Today's Context
Fast forward to the present, the phrase from my mum has empowered me to courageously tackle and overcome many life's challenges. What I accomplished for my exam taught me the importance of perseverence. We don't usually hit the ground running. The process of learning something new can be demoralising and a high level of committment is necessary until adequate proficiency is achieved. It will be tough to achieve anything meaningful in life if we give up the moment we encounter a setback.
On the flip side, be careful not to end up in the camp of perfectionism. In a multifaceted life as an adult, we juggle so many commitments unlike our days as a student where academic pursuit was probably the only thing on the to-do-list. As much as I would like to focus on every task, it simply isn’t realistic to give equal attention to each of them. Hence, it is crucial to prioritise and set reasonable expectations for each of the multiple responsibilities on hand.
Each of us have our unique set of strengths and weaknesses. There will be instances where despite our best efforts, the outcome is unsatisfactory or lacklustre. Therefore, it is necessary to have the courage for self-acceptance and self-compassion for our own shortcomings, while remaining proactive and steadfast in working on our circle of influence.
Concluding
Speech has power. Words do not fade. What starts out as a sound, ends in a deed.
- Abraham Joshua Heschel
As Abraham has succinctly expressed, words are powerful and lasting for the recipient. The words spoken by my mum more than 10 years ago still guide me in many of my decisions and actions today.
I hope you took away some learning points from my personal experience. More importantly, this is an opportunity for you to reflect and identify the individuals who have positively influenced your life with their words. Perhaps it's your turn to encourage and inspire others in return!